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confidence coaching growth mindset health and wellbeing inspiration life coaching motivation personal development self belief self esteem writing community

Following your passions and dreams without worrying about what others think!


Hello there you!

Does worrying about what others think stop you from fulfilling your passions and running after those dreams? Are you tentatively playing it safe?

In life when you constantly worry about others (apart from your little ones of course, that’s inevitable) then you are pushing your own needs, capabilities, talents and growth right to the back of that pile!

Just think of these questions for a few minutes:


• When was the last time you came out of your comfort zone and did what you wanted, now I mean what you really wanted: what your heart craved?
• Did you consult others and worry about what they thought and how they would react?
• How did it feel coming out of your comfort zone?
• Does fear always hold you back?


Don’t let the noise of others opinions

Drown out your own inner voice

Steve Jobs

Just go for it

Life is too short, you need to grab that bull by the horns, follow your passions/dreams and don’t care about what the next person thinks. As long as you are kind, respectful and honest with yourself and others: then the rest will follow. Trust me.

Work hard to achieve those passions/dreams (it won’t fall into your lap by the way) but also at a pace that always feels comfortable for you! What’s the worst thing that can happen?  If it doesn’t work out, at least you can say you gave it your best shot.

Letting go of fear

When I first started writing I felt so good from pouring my heart out with my pen onto that paper or typing onto the notes app (its so therapeutic). But I held back a lot too. I didn’t publish my articles/poems anywhere at the start. Why, you may ask? Because I wanted to play it ‘safe’. I always had others in my mind and how they would feel. I had that ‘fear’ of being judged/rejected. When I stopped this thought pattern (through working hard on myself and my own needs) followed my gut, and was completely honest with myself, respectful and kind, then the rest flowed. I haven’t looked back.


It’s fine to celebrate success

But it is more important to

Heed the lessons of failure

Bill Gates

I’ve still so much to learn when it comes to following my passions in life, but I make sure I constantly move forwards (no matter how small or big those steps are). Taking a step back is ok too, to recharge those batteries and to check in with yourself.

Being self-aware

Self-awareness, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and believing in yourself; will help you to realise how much wasted energy and time is put into what others would/might think (heck, you’re not a mind reader and it’s none of your business what people think. Is it?)

You will gain more clarity when you focus on your own needs. And, the clutter in your mind that has stopped you from moving forward (fear and what others think) will eventually reduce.

Food for thought

Where will you be in 100 years time? Exactly. That ship will have been well docked. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you had the most fulfilling, breath-taking journey that you could have imagined when you followed your heart? Yes, there will always be choppy waves along the way: but that’s life.

It’s how you manage those curveballs, continue on, become stronger, and the lessons you learn (learning should never stop by the way)

And, always stay humble.

You will be surprised at how it will all flow, when you trust in the process. Just go with it.

And finally

You need to believe in yourself, follow your intuition, work hard and to keep learning. Remember, learning from your mistakes is always a good thing! You get back on that horse and keep going.

Success doesn’t mean you have to achieve something huge. It can be the smallest of things that brings that smile to your face or if you want to aim high then go for it.

Remember. You hold that key firmly in your hands!

Thank you for checking out my post and please feel free to comment with your own thoughts on what helps you to pursue your passion in life?

Have a great day 🙂

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anxiety confidence coaching growth mindset health and wellbeing life coaching personal development self esteem social media social media habits stress management writing community

When Social Media Use Becomes Unhealthy. And, 7 Tips to Get That Balance Right!!

Photo ©️ Bernie Egerton

So, you’re scrolling through FB or Insta, having a little old harmless browse – next thing you know you compare yourself to others and your mood suddenly changes (oh boy have I been there) you just keep torturing yourself, checking out profiles, switching to auto-pilot and scrolling: making yourself feel worse! Does this sound familiar to you?

It’s not surprising why you feel bad after a browsing session when it comes to social media. Selfies are plastered everywhere, filters are on hand and those perfect (well edited) life snaps are shown.  The “like” button has also become gold to so many people. The list is endless. On the other hand, however, social media can be a great platform for promoting your business, sharing your creativity, highlighting important issues and raising awareness on so many important causes/subjects.

We’re in a time where everything is done online now and working from home is so much more common since the pandemic.

When my relationship with social media started

When I first became acquainted with FB back in 2007 (yes I’m over 40)  I have to admit I loved it. Social media was a new way to connect with others. I loved checking into places, posting photos of my hols, dinner (I know) and basically sharing the snaps I “wanted” the world to see. Oh did that soon change.

When Social Media becomes unhealthy

Now, when I look back, social media was not one bit healthy for my mental well-being. When the novelty of this new platform had worn off I was comparing myself to others, and my self-esteem dipped whenever I was scrolling. Do you find your mood changing when you’re scrolling for eternity? Yep, we’ve all been there! 

My goodness I remember well before mobiles and the Internet and managed quite well. In todays world, don’t you feel lost if your phone isn’t attached to those hands? I’m so much more mindful these days with social media and deleted my personal social media accounts many years ago (I just had to and feel much more happier/content) I still have FB and Insta, but more for hobbies and work.

You’re in a time where social media is so powerful and addictive. Selfies are huge and trying to master the right pose/look can be exhausting/stressful. Try not to compare your life (I know it’s easier said than done) we’re all unique and brilliant in our own ways. You have your weaknesses and strengths. Build on your strengths and what you enjoy doing and what makes you feel good.

Stats (NCHR)

According to NCHR (National Center For Health Research) 45% of adolescents have reported to being online “almost constantly,” whereas 44% stated being online several times a day. This is a huge percentage of younger people spending their time online on a daily basis –  and is bound to have a negative impact to your mental well-being. However, a 2018 survey report (NCHR, 2018) has stated how 31% of adolescents found a positive impact from social media use and connecting with others.  But, 25% of adolescents found social media to have such a negative impact.

Researchers have also shown how social media can disrupt sleep (NCHR, 2018) I can vouch for this myself, as I used to take my phone to bed (I stopped that years ago)  put it under my pillow and if I woke during the night would have a quick check: then the dreaded scrolling started. Leave your phone downstairs at night or put it into a drawer. Get that proper nights sleep your body and mind needs.

Finding the right balance

There are positives to using social media when you get that balance right and become more aware when online.

If you’re a sensitive person (sensitive person myself I may add) with low self-esteem and you find yourself feeling low after you spend quite a bit of time scrolling: then take a step back.


7 tips on balancing a healthy social media life

1. Ask yourself these questions before going online:

  • How do I feel?
  • What can I do instead?
  • What exactly is making me feel worse?
  • How is this beneficial?

2.  Delete apps from your phone, so you don’t have it handy to constantly check/scroll.

3. Follow positive well-being accounts, these will help you to see the positives. Follow genuine accounts focused on your wellbeing.

4. If it gets too much or overwhelming then take a little break from it. Or even dedicate a day with no social media use every week.

5. Take up a hobby you enjoy and follow accounts you have an interest in.

6. Go outdoors (leave the phone at home)  Spend time in nature to recharge your own batteries and connect with yourself. There is so much beauty out there and outside of social media. Breathe in that fresh air!!

7. Become more aware of your feelings when online. Check in with yourself: ask yourself do I feel ok doing this? Set yourself a time limit when online.


Final thoughts

Social media can be so addictive and you can spend wasted hours scrolling.

Channel your energy into what YOU really enjoy. What makes you smile?

It’s ok to take a break and remember to always be kind to yourself. Step by step you can change a habit. You are more than enough. You really, really are.

I feel so much happier not having a personal social media account anymore and I limit my time spent when browsing on the phone. I’m more aware when online. I channel my energies into what I enjoy, which is being with my family, writing, coaching and poetry.

Talk to someone if it all gets a bit too much, it’s ok to share how you’re feeling with someone you trust –  it’s not a weakness but a strength to open up (and at your own pace too)

Thank you for checking out my post and let me know what your relationship with social media is like.

Do you need to find a healthier social media balance?

And breathe…


Categories
confidence coaching growth mindset life coaching

Growth Mindset. And, moving forward with those goals when you hit a standstill!

Hello there you!

Do you have a growth or a fixed mindset?

When you have a growth mindset, you are always looking at ways to improve yourself, your talents and you learn from your mistakes. You’re a sucker for learning new things. But, you’re not being too hard on yourself during the process either.

I used to be extremely hard on myself and if things didn’t go as planned, oh boy would I spend forever overthinking the situation, beating myself up; and my confidence would plummet. I believed if I wasn’t good at something, then that was it (fixed mindset).

But now, with a growth mindset I reflect on the situation, write in my journal (to process) have my own coaching (to gain clarity), take courses (learning) and practice gratitude daily

I’m constantly learning and brushing up on my skills to become better. Oh don’t get me wrong, there are days where low confidence comes knocking right on that door. I answer it, listen to it, question it; but I don’t spend time dwelling or entertaining those thoughts (not like I used to)

Personal development is huge to me, and part of my daily life. You learn, progress, reflect and grow. Every. Single. Day.

Ask yourself:

  • What areas need training/improving in my life?
  • How can I banish those limiting beliefs?
  • What little acts makes me feel positive?
  • What are my core values?

Moving forward when you hit a standstill

At times we might reach a standstill with our goals; therefore struggling to move forward. Am I good enough, what’s the point; and why do I not see instant results? Do these questions sound familiar?

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving” – Albert Einstein

Remember, results take time – and don’t give up or lose heart. As the saying goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and it wasn’t. You are only human, and it’s really ok to have off days.

Get back on that horse, keep going, push through the pain barrier and remember why you started in the first place!

Visualise that end result.

Ask yourself:

  • How can I move forward with my goals?
  • Why am I losing confidence and doubting myself in the first place?
  • What action do I need to take?

Keep going and don’t give up!

Life is short. And, the more we spend worrying and doubting our capabilities, the more stressed we become and you avoid following your true path in life!

Change always starts with you, when you commit and believe! Keep learning, brush up on your strengths and take your time.

Believe in yourself, work from within and grow – just like that seed waiting to blossom and flourish  ❤

What can you do to move forward with your goals?

Thank you for stopping by and keep going!

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anxiety believe in yourself goal setting growth mindset managing stress motivation personal development success

Inner strength. Keep going with your goals even if you need that break to recharge!

Hello there you!

Are you moving forward with your goals? Or has that little seed of doubt returned? You’re losing the motivation to move on and next thing you know procrastination kicks in.

When we set goals, we need a solid plan in place, written down, and a time-frame. Realistic goals. So you can work on that action plan.

Build it up slowly

Start off in baby steps (yes build it up nicely) and work on that confidence. Believe in yourself. Do all that inner work. Work on the relationship with yourself. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses, your passions and what drives you!

Ask yourself, what exactly is my plan? How can I make this achievable?

Focus

When I set my own goals, I am more focused/clear when I actually do it step by step. Sometimes you can get too carried away and want the whole shebang overnight. All these incredible thoughts/ideas running around in our heads. The next thing you know you’re overwhelmed, and that confidence dips, oh boy does it dip. When it gets to that stage, step back and ask yourself these questions:

  • How can I do this in a more manageable way?
  • What is stopping me from moving forward right now?
  • What have I learned?
  • How do I really feel?

Set realistic goals, then reassess over time. And if you are reaching those targets, then yes aim higher, go for it. Do it. It really is all in the planning.

Using the SMART guide to help with setting those goals

When setting goals just think of the following guide SMART to help throughout the process:

Specific

Measureable

Attainable

Realistic

Time-band

Overwhelm

When you become stressed/anxious our body goes into overdrive. Then the procrastination starts and you are going nowhere. You are spending way too much time doubting your capabilities (I know this too well)

Sometimes, you just need to take a break, recharge those batteries and come back to those goals with a fresh outlook; raring to go again.

Each step forward counts

Even taking a step back.

Reconnect.

Recharge.

Focus.

I know myself when that little seed of doubt starts growing, and those weeds start sprouting; I need to ask myself ” why is this happening?”

Conclusion

You are only human at the end of the day. Go easy on yourself, set realistic goals. Yes, it’s great to aim high, but “slow and steady wins the race” otherwise you burn out before you even reach the starting line!

Take action, set those goals and be kind to yourself. Look within. All the answers are there!

Break it down to a manageable plan of action for you. Use the SMART guide throughout the goal setting process to help.

We all go at our own pace. Listen to your gut.

How are you doing with your goals and are you losing focus?

Thank you for checking out my post and keep going. You’re doing great.

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change growth growth mindset health and wellbeing inspiration life coaching self esteem, personal development, motivation, acceptance success wellbeing

Finding the motivation to move forward with your goals and to finally take action. Here’s how!

Hello there you!

Are you finding it hard to get motivated and taking action? But you’re feeling anxious or nervous about doing so?

I know how difficult it can be to actually start something new. Oh we all have great intentions, ideas in our heads – but getting that ball rolling is always a problem. But, the one thing that is so important about achieving your goals and successfully, is putting in the time, the work, the effort and most importantly ‘wanting’ to change and believing in yourself in the first place.

How taking action can become a success

In relation to my own goals ( I’ll use my successful weight loss story here).  It took me quite some time to actually do it. I had 2 toddlers, I  was tired and when your body is tired and stressed; oh boy do you crave that sugar more. And those cortisol levels are elevated. I just wanted to lose that baby weight!

I tried doing it myself, but failed and back to the start I went. But what was it that changed for me?  How did I make it a success? I did it at a time where I felt 100% ready and to do it properly. I joined a weekly weight loss group and reached my goal and got to my target within a few months.

What made this a success for me? I stuck to group every single week, I believed I could do it and I was surrounded by a supportive community of people who were all there for the exact same reasons.

Yes, there are times when that motivation isn’t there, but it’s ok to have days like that, as long as you stick to your community of supporters. You are only human at the end of the day.

In relation to losing my weight, I still have to work hard on sticking to my loss. How do I do this? I still go to group as it’s a motivation tool to keep that weight off and also the encouragement is huge. Also realising how healthier I feel, physically and mentally. Do I want to return to my old habits? Absolutely not.

How to get that motivation off to a flying start and reaching those goals?

  • Write down exactly what it is you want to achieve
  • Set a time frame (say 3-6 months for example)
  • What is it you want to do specifically?
  • Look up groups and communities focusing on those goals
  • Journaling is a great tool, and it gets those thoughts down
  • Go for a good long walk, to clear the head and to soak up nature
  • Take a step back from social media ( oh I know how much of a procrastination tool that can be)
  • Listen to your gut instinct
  • Most importantly; be ready for that change.

What is it you want to achieve?

What is it that stops you from taking that step forward?


Each step forward counts

Believe you can

And you will!


Thank you for stopping by and remember, you can always do what you put your mind to. And, with the proper support and tools, then you can certainly achieve success!