Author: Bernie Egerton

Bernie is a Mindset Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Writer. She helps with stress, confidence, perfectionism and low self-esteem. Helping you to gain clarity in a warm, focused, non judgemental and friendly coaching environment (online). You deserve to feel happier, stronger and confident in your abilities going forward!
Check out www.bernieegerton.com for more

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anxiety assertiveness coaching confidence coach growth life coaching mindset people pleasing self esteem

Building on Your Assertiveness, Reducing Stress and Your People Pleasing Tendencies!

Sharing an old post of mine as it’s so important to remember this ❤️

Are you a people pleaser?

Do you find it hard saying no? Leading to overwhelm and stress from putting other peoples needs before your own?

Oh I could write so much about this topic!

You see, the thing is I was a people pleaser, and when I look back to who I was 10 years ago I cringe to the point where I resemble a tomato (now that’s red) The beauty about writing this post, is acknowledging the fact of how far I’ve come. Back in my people pleasing days and not being able to say no; low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness were definitely contributing factors to my people pleasing tendencies – therefore causing me stress. Do you relate to this? Exhausting isn’t it?

Overcoming people pleasing

So how do you learn to say no to people? Am I now an expert in saying no? Absolutely not, and you can’t say no all the time. However, it’s about finding that balance and what suits you. If you listen to your gut and know it doesn’t feel right or if it causes you stress/overwhelm – then it’s ok for you to set those healthy boundaries and say no.

Fear

With me it was “fear” of an awful argument breaking out (I’m not particularly fond of confrontation and would always build up how I really felt inside; the worst thing you can do) and would rather go ahead, stress the hell out of myself and plough along with appointments, get togethers, and making other people happy. I wasn’t assertive and never wanted to come across as rude (ignoring my true internal feelings)

The one person who needs your approval most is yourself. Start building on that relationship

Learning to say no, inner work and mindful practices

So how do you say no without feeling terribly guilty and stressed to the hilt?

  • Start to work on yourself, listen to your gut and take your time. Take baby steps and work on being more assertive.
  • Practice mindfulness to connect with your inner self (whatever mindful practices helps you). I’ve been doing so much of this and with that self-awareness, you tap right into your true inner self – reducing those stress levels. You might not be into mindfulness but it can help to reduce stress and be more in the present moment
  • Write it out. Journaling is great for writing down those thoughts/emotions and learning about yourself.
  • Practice breathing exercises; a great tool for stepping back and reconnecting with yourself.
  • Work with a coach or mentor to gain the right tools to help with your assertiveness if you struggle with your self-esteem
  • Listen to podcasts focused on building confidence/self- esteem and relieving stress

It gets easier

Yes, learning to say no is hard, but the more you say it the easier it gets over time and the less stressed/anxious you will become.

When I look back on a time where I was a big people pleaser, I just wasn’t aware I was doing it and thought it was normal practice to get people to like you – seeking approval.

People pleasing is a trait many people have, for others saying no is so much easier. It also comes down to your personality type and how you cope in certain situations.

Concluding thoughts

Remember to look out for you first. The more you work on yourself; then learning to say no and not pleasing others will become easier. It’s all about finding that right balance. Heck, I’m a Libra myself, and I work with those scales every single day.  Growing, learning, self-awareness and building yourself up to reach that balance.  Growth is a constant journey. You never stop learning/progressing/growing. And take your time with moving forward. You owe yourself that!

Do you want go become the best version of yourself for you and your loved ones?

Do you feel you are constantly pleasing others and putting their needs before your own?

Please do comment and share your views. I would love to hear.

It really is ok saying no. You and your wellbeing are always priority!

Be kind to yourself and keep moving forward at your own pace!

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confidence coaching life coaching managing stress personal development wellbeing wellbeing survey

Short wellbeing survey (anonymous)

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/F92N2MN

Hello there you!

I’ve created a little survey (link above) with 10 questions for a project that I’m currently working on. This is also a good starting point to check in with yourself and how you are feeling at present.

Have a little go – the survey is anonymous.

If you feel there are areas that need working on after completing this survey, then please feel free to browse through my blog posts where you will find lots of tips/info.

Have a great day and keep believing in yourself and your abilities! Remember, you hold that key firmly in your hands and make 2023 the year to unlock that incredible door.

Bernie

X

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confidence coach growth health and wellbeing life coaching mindset perfectionisim personal development self esteem stress management

Why perfectionism can be exhausting. Getting that balance right and changing your core beliefs!

“One who fears failure limits his activities”

Henry Ford


Jeepers the amount of pressure we put on ourselves to do well and at such a high standard can be detrimental to our wellbeing. Especially in todays world with social media and people competing with each other. Failing is part of the learning process, but when you’re a perfectionist it is so hard to view that outlook on life. Making mistakes really is part of being human. How do you go easier on yourself you may think? Try to be kind with your self-talk and become more aware of how you criticise yourself. This will help steer you in the right direction i.e, silencing your inner critic and loving who you are with all your flaws (heck we all have them)

When I’ve been too hard on myself

Back when I was studying for my degree and coming up to assignment deadlines; I would chop and change my work so feckin much. My goodness it was never ending at the start of my studies, then procrastination would kick in big time. How did procrastination show up? I would always go on a mad cleaning spree before eventually hitting that submit button. 
Procrastination was in full force, my self-esteem would take a blow like nobody’s business and the stress levels were raised. Why was I feeling this way? It was fear of failing or doing absolutely rubbish. I would get flustered, feel irritable and my head would be swimming with self-doubt.
However, there are times where perfectionism can be seen as a positive. Oh yes, it can make you one determined so and so and a very motivated and disciplined one at that.  But, the overall effects on your health could cause a number of problems such as headaches, binge eating, anxiety and stress to name a few. It’s about being mindful, self-aware and kind with your self-talk.

Research

A meta-analysis study from Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill from 1989-2016 on college students, found that perfectionism had increased over this time due to the young individual’s living in an environment where the pressure of doing well was so high and with many also suffering from anxiety and depression. Also, the study showed how parents are more controlling than generations before. This is no surprise with social media now being a big part of our lives where the perfect life is shown on this platform every single day.


How can you find that right balance?

Perfectionism and being confident with your work (while still working hard at something) are two very different things. When you are confident you can do a good job when you work hard, believe in yourself and don’t overthink things to the point of disaster: but you are being kind with your self-talk. You are happy with what you produce. If it doesn’t go as planned then you learn and grow.  It’s ok to make mistakes. That’s how you learn and do better. 

Learn from your mistakes and take it as feedback for future assignments, work projects, training sessions or whatever you need to improve on. I’m at a stage in my life where I’m not extremely hard on myself when it comes to areas in my life that requires improving. I ask for feedback, learn, take courses and believe in myself so to be the best person, parent and coach.  
    When you’re a perfectionist it never feels good enough and you’re so hard on yourself to the point of raising those stress levels. 

Changing your core beliefs for a more positive outlook

Changing your core beliefs from a negative to a more positive view of yourself can help with perfectionism – as you are being kinder with your self-talk. A core belief is an idea/belief you have about yourself and the world around you. It is deeply rooted and what you firmly believe from your early childhood and how you were raised.

Here are 2 examples of what a core belief would look like and how you can change the narrative:

Core belief

“I’m no good at this and never will be. I will fail”

Change your inner dialogue to:

“How can I improve on this? Do I read more, take courses or ask for feedback/advice?”

Core belief

“I can’t say how I’m really feeling for fear of hurting someone”

Change your inner dialogue to

““I will take a few deep breaths and it’s ok to say how I’m feeling. I know holding it in can feel worse”

Practice

Maybe you are a person that wants everything to just be perfect. Chopping and changing what you’ve written over and over again as that little seed of doubt lingers and those weeds start to sprout big time. Maybe you please everyone to seem like this perfect friend, person? (when deep down you are struggling and ignoring how you really feel). You are an all or nothing type of person.

Trying to be perfect at everything can be exhausting. There really is no such thing as that word perfect. 

Changing your core beliefs can make your self-talk that little bit kinder as you are giving yourself the permission and a chance to learn and grow. Helping you along that path of believing in yourself and your worth. Boosting your confidence and self-esteem. You are changing the negative thought pattern to a more positive outlook. The more you practice changing the narrative, by being aware of your negative thoughts, then it will become easier over time. It does take time, but you will get there, when you work on yourself.

Believe in yourself. Remember, nobody is perfect. Fact.

If perfectionism is taking over your life and you are really struggling, then a mentor, coach or a therapist who specialises in ***CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) can really help to give you those tools and to look at things from a completely different perspective.   

  
*** Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a form of therapy that uses problem solving skills to change thinking patterns and focuses on an individual’s present situation; so to move forward in their life and to help cope with difficult situations. 

Are you a perfectionist?

Do share how perfectionism takes control of your life and what helps you?

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Self-Care, wellbeing, you time, health and well-being, life coaching, life coach, healthy living, wellness

Self-Care! What do you enjoy for a bit of YOU time? Here’s how to get that ball rolling!

Hello there you!

How are you feeling today and do you manage to get a bit of self-care into your daily routine?

Self-Care is an expression thrown around so much these days isn’t it? However, it really is a practice you should incorporate into your daily life.

For me, I feel so much better after a 30 minute walk surrounded by nature, should it be in the park, or anywhere with plenty of greenery. I enjoy walking in a nice quiet environment! I always feel refreshed after a brisk walk as it clears my mind. Throughout a walk it gives me time to reflect on things, to admire the beauty of nature and to just be with me!

If you work in an office, even taking a 15 minute walk outside for some air during lunch can make all the difference. It’s about getting into a little habit.

What form of Self-Care do you enjoy?

Self-care can mean absolutely anything. It can be sitting reading a good book uninterrupted for 20-30 minutes. It can be playing your favourite instrument, meditating or going for a swim. Even a walk on the beach or taking time out to enjoy your favourite cup of tea/coffee without the rushing about. Oh, do I love sitting down with that obligatory chai latte in peace. Something so simple can be so powerful; when you let it! Anything that makes you feel happier/relaxed.

Enjoying a hot cuppa without the rush!

Dedicating time for you

Starting a habit that focuses on your needs should become priority; and a good habit at that. We live in a world where life can be so busy – we often forget to put our own needs first. If you are in a constant state of ‘rush’ you may find it hard to focus on what you really want/need. Even 20 minutes each day will make all the difference as you are becoming aware of your needs. After a while it will become habitual.

To build a habit, you need to practice it.

Make it easy

James Clear

Just breathe

If you find you are feeling a bit overwhelmed/stressed at times then take a step back and concentrate on your breathing. How does your breathing feel? What is worrying you?

Inhaling deeply (filling those lungs) for 5 seconds, holding for 5 seconds and exhaling slowly for 5 seconds (repeat a few times) should help you to connect with yourself and to feel more relaxed. It’s so simple, yet again, powerful!

Connecting with nature!

You should ALWAYS be priority

Remember: YOU are always priority. Taking that time out to practice self-care every day is so important for your physical and emotional well-being. Think about what it is that YOU enjoy. How can it become a habit? Could it be a 20 minute walk during lunch, reading a good book or sitting down being completely present with that hot cup of tea/coffee. Whatever it is; make it a habit going forward. You owe it to your body and mind. Learn to become more self-aware – tap into what makes you feel good. It really is about the simple joys in life.

What self-care practice is part of your life?

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anxiety confidence coaching growth mindset health and wellbeing life coaching personal development self esteem social media social media habits stress management writing community

When Social Media Use Becomes Unhealthy. And, 7 Tips to Get That Balance Right!!

Photo ©️ Bernie Egerton

Ah yes, social media!

So, you’re scrolling through FB or Insta, having a little old harmless browse and next thing you know you compare yourself to others. Your mood suddenly changes, you switch to auto-pilot and down that bloody rabbit hole you go, making yourself feel worse. Does this sound familiar to you?

It’s not surprising why we feel bad after a browsing session when it comes to social media. Selfies are plastered everywhere, filters are on hand and those perfect (well edited) life snaps are shown.  The ‘like’ button has also become gold dust to so many people. The list is endless. However, social media platforms can be great for promoting your business, sharing your creativity, highlighting important issues, giving you a right old laugh and raising awareness on so many important causes/subjects. We’re in a time where everything is done online now and working from home is so much more common since the pandemic.

When my relationship with social media started

When I first became acquainted with FB back in 2007, I have to admit I loved it. Social media was a new way to connect with others and I loved checking into places, posting the obligatory holiday snaps, dinner (I know) and basically sharing the snaps I “wanted” the world to see. I thought it was the best thing since sliced bread! Oh boy did that soon change.

When social media becomes unhealthy

Now, when I look back, social media was not one bit healthy for my mental well-being. When the novelty had worn off, my self-esteem would dip whenever I was scrolling or if I was having an off day. Do you find your mood changing when you’re scrolling for eternity? Yep, we’ve all been there!  Great exercise for the thumb but not the brain. My goodness I remember well before mobiles and the internet and managed quite well. I was brought up in the eighties where spending time outside was my social media!

In todays world, don’t you feel lost if your phone isn’t attached to those hands? I’m so much more mindful these days with social media after deleting my personal social media accounts many years ago (I just had to and feel much more happier/content) I still have FB and Insta, but more for hobbies and work. Furthermore, maybe you do have control when it comes to social media use and that’s great – its all about being mindful and getting the right balance. You’re in a time where social media is so powerful and addictive. Try not to compare your life (I know it’s easier said than done) we’re all unique and brilliant in our own ways. You have your weaknesses and strengths. Build on your strengths and what you enjoy doing and what makes you feel good.

Stats (NCHR)

According to NCHR (National Center For Health Research) 45% of adolescents have reported to being online “almost constantly,” whereas 44% stated being online several times a day. This is a huge percentage of younger people spending their time online on a daily basis –  and is bound to have a negative impact to your mental well-being. However, a 2018 survey report (NCHR, 2018) has stated how 31% of adolescents found a positive impact from social media use and connecting with others.  Furthermore, 25% of adolescents found social media to have such a negative impact.

Researchers have also shown how social media can disrupt sleep (NCHR, 2018) I can vouch for this myself, as I used to take my phone to bed (I stopped that years ago)  put it under my pillow and if I woke during the night would have a quick check: then the dreaded scrolling started and it would be hard to get back to sleep from all that stimulation. Leave your phone downstairs at night or switch it off and use an old fashioned alarm. Get that proper nights sleep your body and mind needs.

Finding the right balance

There are positives to using social media when you get that balance right and become more aware when online. If you struggle with your confidence and you find yourself feeling low after spending quite a bit of time scrolling: then take a step back and have a little break to recharge your own batteries.

7 tips on balancing a healthy social media life

1. Ask yourself these questions before going online:

  • How do I feel?
  • What can I do instead?
  • What exactly is making me feel worse?
  • How is this beneficial?

2.  Delete apps from your phone, so you don’t have it handy to constantly check/scroll (by god do I know how addictive it is)

3. Follow positive well-being accounts, these will help you to see the positives. Follow genuine accounts focused on your wellbeing.

4. If it gets too much or overwhelming then take a little break from it. Or even dedicate a day with no social media use every week.

5. Take up a hobby you have always wanted to try or rekindle an old one.

6. Go outdoors (leave that phone at home)  and spend time in nature to recharge your own batteries and connect with yourself. There is so much beauty outside of social media. Breathe in that fresh air, use your 5 senses (what you see, hear, touch, taste and smell) to become more present/mindful!!

7. Become more aware of your feelings when online. Check in with yourself: ask yourself do I feel ok doing this? Set yourself a time limit when online.

Final thoughts

Social media can be so addictive and you can spend wasted hours scrolling – procrastination at its finest!

Channel your energy into what YOU really enjoy. What makes you smile? It’s ok to take a break and remember to always be kind to yourself. Step by step you can change a habit. You are more than enough. You really, really are. I feel so much happier not having a personal social media account anymore and I limit my time spent when browsing on the phone. I’m more aware when online. I channel my energies into what I enjoy, which is being with my family, absorbing nature, writing and coaching. Talk to someone if it all gets a bit too much, it’s ok to share how you’re feeling with someone you trust –  it’s not a weakness but a strength to open up (and at your own pace too)

Thank you for checking out my post and let me know what your relationship with social media is like. Do comment and share your own tips.

Do you need to find a healthier social media balance?

And breathe…

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confidence coaching goal setting inspiration life coaching marathon training motivation personal development wellbeing coach

Discipline, Self-Belief and Hard Work to Reach that Finishing Line!!

Hello there you!

Do you need the motivation and discipline to move forward with your goals?

Dublin Marathon 2013!

This is a photo of myself, my race bib and my medal after I ran and completed Dublin Marathon in 2013 (I ran my first Dublin Marathon in 2010)

How did I feel? Delighted, relieved, exhausted, sore, but proud!

How did I make this happen?

I spent 4 solid months training 6 days per week, booked a few 5k and 10k races as part of my training plan and followed a great marathon book (that book was my training and nutrition coach)

Looking back it was hard work (results always take determination, belief in yourself and discipline) and there were plenty of times where I felt like giving up, shed tears and my confidence was knocked. But, I would always focus on the end goal and visualized myself running over that finishing line. That picture was always placed firmly in my mind.

If you want it, you can fly,

You just have to trust ‘you’ a lot

Steve Jobs

When you set goals, you need to have a structured plan, believe in yourself and then visualize it.

Give yourself a pep talk!

Whenever you lack the motivation to move forward with your goals, ask yourself:

  • What can I do differently?
  • Why did I start?
  • How can I make this work going forward?

Running a marathon is HARD WORK and you need to put in that time and commitment. Build yourself up and pace yourself.

Like everything, most of it is all in the mind. What you feed yourself mentally certainly affects your performance.

Be kind to yourself with that self-talk!

When you put in the work, then you get results. It’s all in the preparation, believing in yourself, doing the research and being disciplined.

Keep checking in with yourself and reflect.

Plan of action and final thoughts

I make sure I follow a plan, set goals, have a clear vision and I work hard at what I set out to achieve.

Should you be training for a marathon, working towards a big job promotion, changing career, wanting to lose weight or anything that involves commitment; you need to put in the work, be disciplined, prepare, plan and visualize that end result! But, being kind to yourself too.

  • What changes do you need to make going forward?
  • How can you make that change happen?

You can do whatever you put your mind to. Believe in yourself, lace up those trainers and get starting!

Categories
confidence coaching growth mindset life coaching

Growth Mindset. And, moving forward with those goals when you hit a standstill!

Hello there you!

Do you have a growth or a fixed mindset?

When you have a growth mindset, you are always looking at ways to improve yourself, your talents and you learn from your mistakes. You’re a sucker for learning new things. But, you’re not being too hard on yourself during the process either.

I used to be extremely hard on myself and if things didn’t go as planned, oh boy would I spend forever overthinking the situation, beating myself up; and my confidence would plummet. I believed if I wasn’t good at something, then that was it (fixed mindset).

But now, with a growth mindset I reflect on the situation, write in my journal (to process) have my own coaching (to gain clarity), take courses (learning) and practice gratitude daily

I’m constantly learning and brushing up on my skills to become better. Oh don’t get me wrong, there are days where low confidence comes knocking right on that door. I answer it, listen to it, question it; but I don’t spend time dwelling or entertaining those thoughts (not like I used to)

Personal development is huge to me, and part of my daily life. You learn, progress, reflect and grow. Every. Single. Day.

Ask yourself:

  • What areas need training/improving in my life?
  • How can I banish those limiting beliefs?
  • What little acts makes me feel positive?
  • What are my core values?

Moving forward when you hit a standstill

At times we might reach a standstill with our goals; therefore struggling to move forward. Am I good enough, what’s the point; and why do I not see instant results? Do these questions sound familiar?

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving” – Albert Einstein

Remember, results take time – and don’t give up or lose heart. As the saying goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and it wasn’t. You are only human, and it’s really ok to have off days.

Get back on that horse, keep going, push through the pain barrier and remember why you started in the first place!

Visualise that end result.

Ask yourself:

  • How can I move forward with my goals?
  • Why am I losing confidence and doubting myself in the first place?
  • What action do I need to take?

Keep going and don’t give up!

Life is short. And, the more we spend worrying and doubting our capabilities, the more stressed we become and you avoid following your true path in life!

Change always starts with you, when you commit and believe! Keep learning, brush up on your strengths and take your time.

Believe in yourself, work from within and grow – just like that seed waiting to blossom and flourish  ❤

What can you do to move forward with your goals?

Thank you for stopping by and keep going!

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health and wellbeing health, inspiration life coaching personal development stress management Transformational coaching

Sleep. It’s importance and 8 ways to improve your sleeping patterns, for a healthier lifestyle!

Hello there you!

How are you feeling today and did you get a good night’s sleep?

Are you getting enough sleep per night in general – i.e between 7-9 hrs? Are you struggling to fall asleep at the moment?

It’s tough sometimes to get the right amount, especially if you’re a new parent isn’t it? Or you could be going through other major changes in your life – should it be at work, your relationships, college or moving home.

However, getting the right amount of sleep is so important in order to decrease those stress levels; and to keep your anxiety levels controlled.  I know myself by not getting those early nights (my youngest is an early riser!) I don’t feel myself. Your concentration is poor the next day, then you reach for the junk food and you lack the motivation to exercise or to move forward with your goals. Getting those early night’s in helps your overall wellbeing and to control stress/ low mood.

Health problems

Research has shown how sleep problems could cause health issues such as high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes, depression,  heart disease and reduced immune system function.This is not surprising as you do reach for unhealthy options when it comes to food ( I do and I’m also too tired to exercise if I haven’t had a good night’s sleep). I make sure I get those 8 hrs sleep each night, so I’m more motivated/focused to eat a well balanced diet, to exercise properly and to be more productive the following day.

Statistics

Research has shown:

  • That 40% of aged 18-24 struggle to fall asleep at night (sleep foundation)
  • 33% of people above 55 in the UK also struggle to fall asleep (sleep foundation)
  • 22% of people in general in the UK struggle to fall asleep (NHS)
  • 7-19% of the overall population struggle to get enough sleep (national institute of sleep)
  • 50-70 million Americans have chronic sleep disorders.

Sleep problems during times of stress

What common sleep problems do you experience during times of stress?

Common sleep disorders are Insomnia, Restless Leg Syndrome, Sleep Apnea, Narcolepsy and Sleep Paralysis. During times of high stress I tend to get palpitations prior to falling asleep and I’ve also experienced sleep paralysis a handful of times during my life (now, if you’re aware of sleep paralysis then you know how terrifying and unpleasant that can be)

8 ways to improve sleep (Sleep Foundation, NHS)

  • Avoid Caffeine (a stimulant) and alcohol just before bed (at least 2hrs) as they can prevent you from falling asleep or going into a more deeper sleep
  • Exercise throughout the day but avoid it just before bed
  • Make sure your sleeping environment is dark, relaxed and with dim lights if you prefer a light on
  • Put away those gadgets – I know how distracting they are.  When I take mine to bed I’m scrolling and wasting valuable sleeping time (we’re all guilty of this aren’t we?) I always leave mine downstairs now.
  • If you’re feeling anxious, do a bit of writing before bed and let those worries out. It really helps.
  • Listen to a bit of relaxation music to help you drift off
  • Stick to going to bed at the same time each night so it becomes a habit/routine over time.

Do you like your tea/coffee before bed and can’t do without? Maybe try some calming lavender herbal tea instead – to help you drift into a more relaxed/calmer state just before bed.

Concluding thoughts

Take a step back, look at how your sleeping patterns are and adapt (using these tips I’ve shown throughout)

What tips do you have that helps you with sleep?

Thank you for stopping by to check out my post. And, here’s to you having a decent night’s sleep going forward for a healthier, happier and more productive you!

Categories
anxiety believe in yourself goal setting growth mindset managing stress motivation personal development success

Inner strength. Keep going with your goals even if you need that break to recharge!

Hello there you!

Are you moving forward with your goals? Or has that little seed of doubt returned? You’re losing the motivation to move on and next thing you know procrastination kicks in.

When we set goals, we need a solid plan in place, written down, and a time-frame. Realistic goals. So you can work on that action plan.

Build it up slowly

Start off in baby steps (yes build it up nicely) and work on that confidence. Believe in yourself. Do all that inner work. Work on the relationship with yourself. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses, your passions and what drives you!

Ask yourself, what exactly is my plan? How can I make this achievable?

Focus

When I set my own goals, I am more focused/clear when I actually do it step by step. Sometimes you can get too carried away and want the whole shebang overnight. All these incredible thoughts/ideas running around in our heads. The next thing you know you’re overwhelmed, and that confidence dips,  oh boy does it dip. When it gets to that stage, step back and ask yourself these questions:

  • How can I do this in a more manageable way?
  • What is stopping me from moving forward right now?
  • What have I learned?
  • How do I really feel?

Set realistic goals, then reassess over time. And if you are reaching those targets, then yes aim higher, go for it. Do it.  It really is all in the planning.

Using the SMART guide to help with setting those goals

When setting goals just think of the following guide SMART to help throughout the process:

Specific

Measureable

Attainable

Realistic

Time-band

Overwhelm

When you become stressed/anxious our body goes into overdrive. Then the procrastination starts and you are going nowhere. You are spending way too much time doubting your capabilities (I know this too well)

Sometimes, you just need to take a break, recharge those batteries and come back to those goals with a fresh outlook; raring to go again.

Each step forward counts

Even taking a step back.

Reconnect.

Recharge.

Focus.

I know myself when that little seed of doubt starts growing, and those weeds start sprouting;  I need to ask myself ” why is this happening?”

Conclusion

You are only human at the end of the day. Go easy on yourself, set realistic goals. Yes, it’s great to aim high, but “slow and steady wins the race” otherwise you burn out before you even reach the starting line!

Take action, set those goals and be kind to yourself. Look within. All the answers are there!

Break it down to a manageable plan of action for you. Use the SMART guide throughout the goal setting process to help.

We all go at our own pace. Listen to your gut.

How are you doing with your goals and are you losing focus?

Thank you for checking out my post and keep going. You’re doing great.

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change clinical Hypnotherapy health and wellbeing holistic therapy life coaching managing stress

Clinical Hypnotherapy. A holistic therapy to help with your subconscious mind; changing those behaviours. And, it’s not acting out on a stage!

Hello there you!

What’s this about Hypnotherapy I hear you say? Controlling your mind, putting you into a deep trance while making you do all sorts of daft/silly things! Clinical Hypnotherapy is non of these stereotypical views.

Here’s the thing. Being a certified clinical hypnotherapist I can tell you that you always have control throughout a hypnotic state. You will always be aware, but are more focused and in a relaxed and calm state throughout.

During hypnosis, you are listening to direct suggestions (simple instructions from your hypnotist) in a guided, safe and relaxed environment with a trained professional, who wants nothing more than for you to have a good experience. However, you need to give it your full attention, and forget about those stresses in life for a short period of time.

So what exactly is hypnotherapy?

Hypnotherapy dates back to the late 18th century by Franz Mesmer and is a holistic therapy where you are working with the subconscious mind. So what is the subconscious mind? It’s basically everything that you have experienced throughout your life i.e what you have felt, seen, heard, learned and your beliefs. And, during hypnosis you are digging that little bit deeper when your mind is relaxed and the hypnotist has your full attention.

Think of it this way (you might already be familiar with Freud’s iceberg theory) and imagine the subconscious mind being the bottom of an iceberg where everything is stored and the tip is our conscious mind (current thought process, analytical thinking, aware of now, feelings of pain).

Clinical Hypnotherapy can help with certain behaviours and addictions. So how do people respond to Hypnotherapy? Around 80% can go into hypnosis, 10% are highly susceptible while 10% are non-susceptible.

By quieting your mind and learning

To induce a state of hypnosis, you can visualize

The you that you’ve always dreamed of

And make this a reality

William W. Hewitt

Hypnotherapy can be extremely beneficial to your health and wellbeing. Over a few sessions you should be able to feel the benefits completely. However, as I stated before; you have to go into Hypnotherapy wanting to change and with an open mind.

What can Hypnotherapy help with?

  • Insomnia
  • Stress
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Anxiety
  • Phobias/fears
  • Weight management
  • Quitting smoking
  • Pain
  • IBS

Remember, it’s nothing to do with the hypnotist controlling you, but gently guiding you into a trance where you are fully aware and in control at all times. It is up to you in how the experience goes.

Have you tried Hypnotherapy and what has your own experience been like? Would love to hear!

During a session, you will always be in a safe environment, and make sure the hypnotist is certified to perform Hypnotherapy!

Have a great day and thank you for checking out my post!

And relax!